wrapping presents for others

Yesterday afternoon, Britton was helping me wrap the presents for the kiddos who were to be at our house for the Small Group Christmas party.  As we sat in the floor, surrounded by paper, tape and ribbon, I realized I was two presents short.  In a panic, I called Josh, who was out running errands and asked him to please stop at the store and buy two more presents.  After I got off the phone, I looked at Brit and said, "whew, that was close."  Brit, ever so serious, said, "mama, if we don't have enough presents, I will give them my presents." I said, "No Brit, you don't have to do that."  He said, "mama, it's ok, because I love people."   

"I knew I caught a glimpse of Heaven's love as he thanked me and ran out, and that God had sent this little boy to remind me what Christmas is all about."  ~The Christmas Shoes, Newsong

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Santa Letter, oops & double oops

Several weeks ago, I found this website where I could compose a "real" letter from Santa to Britton.  Because I am a total freak about Christmas, I was completely giddy over the idea and couldn't wait to get started.  I worked on this letter for over an hour!  Once, I finished, I paid for the letter, and closed my laptop with complete elation and satisfaction over my "yeah, mommy" moment!  

(fast forward two weeks)

We got home from getting Britton & Aidan from school.  In the mail was this VERY shiny red envelope.  I looked at the addressee and noticed it was to Brit  and had this GOLD label on it that said SC....As I said above, I am SUCH a freak I was absolutely spastic over this coming in the mail..."Brit," I squealed..."you got something in the mail."  "What is it," he said.  "I'm not sure" I fibbed...He took the envelope from me and immediately noticed the return address..."Santa Claus, North Pole, Alaska".."Momma," he is squealing now too, "it's from SANTA!" 

"Oh, my goodness, let's open it!" I said...As I squatted down to open the envelope, all excitement quickly went away, as I looked at Aidan who was standing there and his smile slowly faded from his face, "where my yetter fwom Santa?" 

uh oh

I hadn't ordered one for Aidan because I never DREAMED he would even notice it.  What WAS I thinking? This kid notices EVERYTHING!  

Tears immediately start pouring down Aidan's cheeks.  I said, "Brit do you want to open your letter," not wanting to take away from my, I mean, Britton's exciting moment.  He said, with absolute conviction, "I don't want to open it until Aidy is happy." 

About 5 minutes later and after much explaining that Santa must have mailed his letter on another day Aidy was happy, Britton was ecstatic over his letter and all seemed well.  

So..knowing I needed to get my computer plugged in so I could order a letter for Aidy, I ran upstairs to get the computer. As I was walking back down, I eavesdropped on a little conversation my two sons were having...it went like this...

Aidy: hey, Bit

Brit: Yeah, Aidy

Aidy: Bit, I want a wetta fwom Santa

Brit: Aidy, remember mommy said he was going to mail yours later

Aidy: oh kay, hey Bit

Brit: Yeah, Aidy

Aidy: I hate santa caus

Brit: you don't want to hate Santa Claus, he brings you the presents.

Aidy: awwite

Aidy: Hey Bit, will he bing me a puppy?

Brit: no, Aidy, he might bring you a wind up puppy but not a real one, he can't carry it in his bag.

Aidy: awwite

There are no words to describe the emotions I felt there, cowering on my stairs, so I could listen to my boys talk about Santa Claus.  I learned several VERY valuable lessons....

1.Aidy notices everything and though he is two, has VERY strong emotions when he feels he was wronged.

2.  Brit is a very sensitive person, especially when it comes to his brother.

and 3.  I almost spoiled Santa all because I didn't pay attention to number one! 

I will NOT let that happen again! 

Merry Christmas, Aidy....

Amazed

We are two days from Britton's sixth Thanksgiving.  Yesterday he spent the entire day boxing up Operation Christmas Child boxes and loading them onto a truck to be sent to African villages.  Today, Britton spent two hours selling hot cocoa and treats to benefit a playground for dis-abled and abled children.  Both of these things were HIS idea.  I have known for some time that Britton has a compassionate heart.  However, I never understood just HOW compassionate until this year.  Britton will freely and without thought give up anything he has AND give up free time for anyone.  When they began the 'every cent counts' project at St Paul for the playground, I knew Britton was passionate about it! He talked about it often and was asking everyone in his little life to help.  When his box didn't fill up as fast as he hoped, he began begging me to do something else.  I asked him to come up with an idea of something he could do.  We brainstormed for several days and he came up with the idea to sell hot cocoa.  We came up with the hospital together.  So, today, Britton got up extra early, smile on his face and sold hot chocolate to thirsty doctors and nurses at Southeast Hospital.  He was asked several times what he was raising money for and he would explain the importance of Melaina's playground.  People were amazed.  They called him just that...AMAZING...Britton isn't by any means a 'perfect' child.  He can be awnry, silly, loud and sometimes VERY sloppy...but my boy is COMPASSIONATE..The awnry he got from his daddy...sloppy from his momma but the compassion, was strictly heaven sent.  He amazes me every day and I know that he will amaze every one he meets...Amazed!

Glass Half Full Kind of Guy

Tonight while eating supper, Aidan proved to me that he is a "glass half full kind of guy".  He was standing in his chair, twirling around (in slow motion) and he lost his balance.  He tried to catch himself and in doing so, he slammed his hand down into his bowl of chili, slinging chili all over himself and the table.  As he pulls his hand out of the bowl (in slow motion), he raises it up, smile and says, "Ta-da."  As I stood in amazement, Britton died laughing.  It's so good to know that my youngest, my baby is a "glass half full kind of guy"...The best kind of guy to have around!

My Grandpa

My Grandpa's name was Verly McCord Jr.  He was a tall man.  A man who smiled a lot.  I can remember, noticing at a very young age, how when my Grandma walked into the room my Grandpa's voice was always filled with such love when he would greet her.  I remember watching him smile whenever she was around.  My Grandpa was an amazing man.  He would take me fishing, spend time with me...Even coloring a picture was special because he would do it with me...I remember curling up on his lap and looking at a book or just curling up to watch a show on television.  It didn't matter what we did...ever moment was fun because I was with my Grandpa.  He loved me. VERY much..I never doubted this.  I've been told stories of him defending me..looking out for me..but even without these stories, I always KNEW he loved me.  

I recently watched an episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory was bonding with her Grandfather.  I found tears burning my eyes.  Grandpa passed on when I was in the first grade.  I definitely have lived longer without him in my life than with him in.  Occasionally, I look at my boys or hear them say something and I can't help but think that Grandpa would love them and spend time with them like he did with me.  That he would look at them and see parts of me (from when I was younger).  I just know he would tell them stories of when he used to spend time with me.  Britton would have adored my grandpa and the feeling would have been mutual.  

However, this is not the only reason that on this particular day I find myself struggling not to cry.  I want my Grandpa here for very selfish reasons.  For me.  I miss him so much sometimes it hurts to breathe.  I know that he would come visit me no matter where I lived.  He would love me and love Josh and would share stories of my childhood with me.  He would fill a part of me that is forever void..the Grandpa part.  I know God has a purpose for everything...but sometimes I just wish he didn't feel the need to take him so soon.  Before I really had even begun to live.  I used to dream of seeing my grandpa..Although, it's been a long time since he and I have met up in my dreams...maybe tonight I will pray for a glimpse...or a long forgotten memory to make an appearance in my dreams..I would love to have another moment with him, like the character Rory has with her grandfather, but for now..the dreams will have to suffice.  xo to you Grandpa..love you  ~misty dawn

Purple or Pink

Today I was reminded of a book that Britton and I used to LOVE to read together.  My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss...Yesterday, I was at Kohl's trying new shirts and I had to stop a second and look at my cart.  EVERY shirt I had picked out was Purple!  I couldn't remember what the book said Purple represented in way of feelings, but I knew it was mentioned in the book.  After I got home and tried on several of the shirts, realized that I didn't like them so much.  So, after we picked up the kiddos, we went BACK to Kohl's and I exchanged them.  I picked out some replacements and headed home.  This morning, I was putting away my new shirts when I noticed that for some reason, I had exchanged every purple shirt and bought PINK ones!  

I headed downstairs and found the book and saw that according to Dr. Seus, Purple is a day for feeling sad..."I groan, I drag my tail, I walk alone."  The choice of pink was mentioned by Dr. Seuss as well..."When my days are happy pink, it's great to jump and just not think."

This may sound silly to some, but it makes total sense to me.  Yesterday, I spent most of the day alone...I wasn't sad, necessarily, but was feeling a little melancholy.  Then when my boys and husband came home, I found myself giggling, running a race, playing duck duck goose...I was happy...I bought the purple shirts alone, the pink shirts with my family...Which lead me to the conclusion that I am happier (naturally) when my family is with me.  Explains so much, of this past year, to me!  

With all this thinking, I have come to this conclusion.... Dr. Seuss, was a BRILLIANT man!!!!  

He's Growing Up..sniff

On the way to school, Aidan sits in the back, thumb in his mouth, lovey in his hand.  He is usually quiet, except for the occasional question about bubba or daddy.  "we pick bit up soon?" "daddy wohk?" "got my jacket mommy?" Other than that he is fairly quiet...just looks out the window and sucks his thumb while holding the tag to lovey.  I occasionally look in the mirror and marvel on how cute and tiny he looks back there.  Wondering when he will no longer suck his thumb...when he won't care if he has his lovey....when he doesn't need a car seat anymore....I can usually handle the thoughts ok..take them in stride, so to speak...Today was different.  I don't know why, but when I looked back there and thought of how he has already moved out of so many stages of baby-hood (diapers, bottles, crib) I feel my chest tighten.  I can't believe he is growing up so fast.  Too fast...It won't be long and I'll be dropping him off for Kg.  No, that is too much to think about...

When we got to school, I got him out and asked him to "snuggle me up".  He wraps his arms around me and gives me a big squeeze.  I close my eyes and soak up the "scent" of my Aidy...We get to class, he sits in the circle, takes his thumb out and says, "Mommy, put my lovey in my cubby." 6 words that changed everything...put my lovey in my cubby...words that caused me to stammer out, "uh, oh of course baby".  I can't help but wonder why on this day, when I was feeling so melancholy to begin with, did he choose to say those 6 words...but say them  he did and in saying them he showed me that Yes, he is indeed growing up....

Bagas, Benny & Britton

(in the pics: Benny, Brit's picture for Benny, & Bagas)

When Brit was born, Josh and I decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International.  Our goal was to sponsor a child, close to the same age as Britton and then write to the child and when Britton was old enough, he could write to his "brother" and his "brother" would write back, hoping that someday Britton would meet him.  Our "adopted son's" name was Bagas.  We prayed for Bagas, wrote him letters, sent pics of the boys and he would write back and send pics of his family to us.  I truly enjoyed reading about Bagas.  He called me Auntie Misty, and the rest of the family was Uncle Josh and my Brothers, Britton and Aidan...I loved it.  I learned so much about his country and what his days consisted of.  Recently, we received a final letter from Bagas.  A letter that both broke my heart and caused it to soar.  Bagas and his family were doing so well, that they were being released from the Compassion program.  It was our final contact with our son/brother.  Compassion sent us a new friend, and his name is Benny.  And like Bagas, he is from Indonesia.  He is 9 and his days consist of "taking care of children, playing soccer and playing with cars".  There are 4 children in his family.  He is the oldest.  Today, as I was reading about our new "son", I called Britton in and told him about Benny, showed him on a map where Benny lives and told him what Benny likes to do for fun.  Britton's eyes were shining.  He said, "maybe someday I can see Benny.  I will take a soccer ball with us and we can play soccer and play with cars."  I said, "that would be awesome wouldn't it?"  I then asked him if he would like to color a picture for Benny or send him some cool stickers.  He said, "How about I draw him a picture?" I said, "sure."  A bit later, he brought me his art and my heart lurched.  He drew a picture of himself and Benny playing soccer.  When I showed the picture to Josh, he said, which one is Benny...I said, "I'm not sure, they are both happy."  In the picture, though they were wearing different shirts, they were both happy, smiling and playing soccer...Together...No racial differences, no sign that one "has more" than the other..Equals...BROTHERS...Britton took the picture of Benny up to his room and hung it up on his bulletin board, he said he will pray for him...I have no doubt that he will...In Britton's mind, Benny is just another boy in another place, waiting for the day when they can play soccer together...

As I have said before, Britton has taught me so much...in this situation, my mind is overwhelmed...Britton didn't just "love" Benny b/c he felt sorry for him, b/c he is superior...no, he loves him b/c he just does...they are BROTHERS...in soccer, in cars and in Christ...Equals...

He said he loves me...

I picked Britton up from a "movie night" at a buddies house.  When he saw me walk in, he turned around, walked up to me and said, "love ya  Mom"...He didn't yell it, squeal it, or jump up and down, very grown up like, a simple "love ya Mom"...The dad of the little boy who was hosting the event just chuckled and looked at me...I had no words...I only smiled! That's my boy...Acting grown up, but not afraid to say he loves his momma...I know it won't always be this way, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can!  

I wanna see Heaven

today when I picked Britton up from school, he had a lot of questions about Heaven.  I answered them as best as I could...Not having been there, I couldn't be sure of all the correct answers, but I gave it the good old college try!  I have known since Britton was born that someday the questions would come...we actually talked about it in small group on Tuesday night.  How the age of accountability is different for every child.  Brit is 5 1/2 and the age of 6 is quickly approaching. I cannot imagine the joy in a mom's heart as she watches her child accept Christ into his/her heart and then enter into baptism with Him.  I get those "mom tears" just thinking about it.  When Britton was 2, we were about 5 months from moving here and there was a song that was popular on the radio by Matthew West,  Next Thing You Know (Thirteen)

I remember when I was thirteen , I saw a picture on my TV screen, The Reverend Billy Graham and the people sing “Just As I Am”, And I felt like You were talking to me, And the whole world seemed to fade away, Until I heard my mother say “Son, are you ok? Do you wanna pray? And that became the hour I first believed!

Every time I heard this song I would fight tears...What JOY that mom must have felt...Question upon question would pour through my mind: how did she know, will I know, will it be this easy? 

Today, after picking up Brit, and he was asking me those questions, I couldn't help but think of this song and I got that same familiar lump in my throat as I tried to answer questions about Heaven and our Savior for my oldest child.  "I wanna go to Heaven, Mommy" "Do I have to die to get there?" "will it hurt to die?" "Why do I have to wait until I die to see God?" "When I see Jesus, will he pick me up and sit me on a cloud so I can see the whole world?" 

I said to him, "Britton, you just have to make sure you have Jesus in your heart, you have to ask Him to be there and to forgive you for not making good choices" He said to me with absolutely certainty: "I have Mommy, he is in my heart forever"  

Oh, to flash forward 25 years and for him to feel this same way!  My heart will explode when he finally is baptized in a church...It may just be too much for this old softy to handle!  How in the WORLD does our Savior stand it?!  

Blessings: something we don't deserve that God gives us anyway

When I was pregnant with Britton, there was this Hallmark commercial that was popular.  It was about a lil boy who came home from school and went on about his life after handing mom the backpack.  He was looking for a particular toy and it shows him in various places around the house.  Mom, on the other hand, was looking through his backpack, where she found a card.  She asks the lil boy who the card is from and is informed that it is from his teacher.  She then opens the card and reads it.  Her son had sacrificed a recess to stay in with a lil boy who couldn't go outside b/c of his disability or illness.  The little boy did this willingly...Every time I watched this commercial I would all but sob.  To have a son this selfless would be such a blessing...almost too much to ask for....

A blessing is something that we don't deserve that God gives us anyway and I have truly been blessed with Britton's giving nature.  I blogged earlier about how Britton wanted to pray for his friend Kate.  I recently found out that I actually know Kate's mom.  I spoke with her at the school picnic on Sunday and told her that Britton was praying for Kate to get better and that he initiated this all on his own.  Today, Josh checked the mail, and as I was going through it noticed there was a card for Britton.  I took it outside and said, Brit you got a card in the mail.  He said, Cool, what's it say?  I then opened the card and read it to Britton.  It was from Kate's mom and it was thanking Britton for his prayers and re assuring him that God is good and will take care of Kate.  I was fighting tears the entire time and trying to read it while ignoring the huge lump in my throat.  When I finished, I hugged Britton and said, Britton, do you know how special this is?  He said, yeah, but how did she know I prayed for her mommy, Did God tell her? I informed him that it was I who had told her.  He said, Oh, ok.  I know God will heal Kate, Mommy.  I said, nothing...I couldn't...My heart was overflowing...

Today I had some tooth work done and my tooth is really hurting.  After Britton had been tucked in, he came in my room and said, Mommy, when I sleep with Happy (his little stuffed friend) I always feel better.  Would you like to sleep with him tonight?  

Again, all I could muster was a smile and a nod.  

I have prayed for Britton since he was in my tummy...but I had NO idea God would bless me so much by giving me such a considerate child.  He is truly good.  His Daddy and I would LOVE to take the credit, but No, that is ALL GOD!  That is the only explanation for such goodness in such a young soul...

Such a BLESSING!!!  Thankfully the Lord saw fit to give him to me...

just a funny moment

Aidan is in a stage right now where he thinks things are "no fair"...and will verbalize when he thinks so...

Britton is in a stage right now where he wants us to "raise our hand if...." it may be " had fun, ate pizza, or laughed today"

Saturday night we were in St Louis.  It had been a long day.  Britton said, "Raise your hand if you liked the Halloween store", Josh and I played a long...a few minutes later I said, "Raise your hand if you think the two boys in the back seat should go to sleep" Josh and I were the only two to raise our hands and when I turned around the boys were just glaring at us.  We laughed, and I turned around.  A few minutes later, Aidan said, "raise u hand if u think no fair"  Aidy raised his hand...

very, very, very, much

I was reminded last night of a quote I heard when I first became a mom...I don't know who said it or even if I will get it completely right, but the gest of it is....becoming a mom, forever having your heart walk around outside your body.  In the last couple of days, I have been reminded of how extremely true this is!  Last night I was watching Armageddon and was mindlessly letting the credits roll at the end.  The song by Aerosmith "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" came on and I was hit with those crazy mom tears again!  After my kids first birthday's, I make a video using pictures of the first year and pick a song that fits how I felt that first year as the background music...Don't Wanna Miss a Thing was the song I chose for Brit's video...It said it all...Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep, cause I'd miss ya baby and I don't wanna miss a thing...Even when I dream of  you, the sweetest dreams will never do, I'd still miss ya baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing..I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss, I just wanna be right here with you right here, just like this...I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close with mine and we stay here in this moment for all the rest of time....

That first year with Brit as my first baby, went so fast and when I heard that song, I couldn't help but think it said everything I was feeling for my fast growing boy!  Oh, sure, don't get me wrong...the Don't wanna close my eyes (in reality) wasn't EXACTLY true...What new Mom isn't dying to close her eyes?! Right?!  But the feeling of the song...it's happening too fast, you're growing too fast, you're not my "baby" anymore...

Last night, when this song came on, I got up and went in Brit's room.  He was asleep and I just knelt down next to him and looked at him for a few minutes..He has grown soo much...

As tears were rolling down my cheeks, on my knees, I started praying for this child God has placed in my care.  Please Lord, give me wisdom, help me teach him, make him strong, guide him so he never leaves You, Lord.  As I prayed this, in between trying to keep myself somewhat composed, as completely composure was a pipe dream, I was watching him sleep.  I looked at his hands, someday they will be man's hands, looked at his face, someday his wife will look at his face and fall in love with him, looked at his hair and thought...holy cow he needs a hair cut! Somewhere, the prayers stopped being about Brit and became about me..Please Lord, don't let me miss a thing...I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss...Help me treasure EVERY moment with my handsome son.  

I ordered Britton some shoes as well as his daddy some shoes of the internet yesterday.  I had to chuckle when I looked at the complete order invoice they emailed to my inbox...

Men's size 11

Boys size 11

I don't wanna miss a thing!!!!

Hannah Montana, boys and girls...

tonight after tucking the boys, I settled down in my room thinking I could find some movie to watch to entertain myself...Instead I found the Hannah Montana/Miley concert on HBO.  So, of course b/c it's clean and I enjoy the music as much as any little girl, I watched it....In between songs at the concert they show behind the scenes stuff with her family and radio stations, etc.  There is this one part that always gets me...it actually takes place in West County Mall in STL and it is a high heel derby for Dads to win Hannah Montana tickets at Scottrade.  I don't know why, maybe b/c I'm a softie for the Daughter/Daddy relationship, but I cry everytime I see those Dad's running as fast as they can in high heels to win tickets for their daughter.  It always makes me feel a little regret that Josh will never have the experience of that extremely special bond between a father and a daughter...How he will feel so protective it scares him, how he watches her become a woman...I have no doubt that Josh feels protective of his boys, but it's different...so so different.  He will never experience that dance with her at the prom, or walk her down the aisle at her wedding.....It's funny...I know I'm not God, but I can picture our Bella as sure as I breathe.  I know exactly how she looks....and I even see her at times interacting with the boys.  I really feel like we are done having children, but occasionally when I watch things like Hannah on tv and I see pettiskirts at the store, I long to have another one.  

Dont get me wrong...I would trade NOTHING for my boys!  They are my funny place, my wild, they encourage me to get dirty, to touch worms, race through the yard and read about books and dinosaurs.  They have turned me into a boy mom...(actually I think I've always been a boy mom)  

I just pray that my boys get to experience as Daddy's the relationship between themselves and a lil girl...Until then, I will enjoy other little girls and become more of a boy mom and become the BEST boy mom ever!!! 

My Precious Son

tonight when I was tucking Britton in, I told him that I was going to let him talk to Jesus without me in the room.  He said, no mommy, we need to pray together for Kate.  Not Kate in my class but my friends sister.  I said, Ok, what is wrong with Kate.  He said,"she is going to have seven heart surgeries".  I said, Ok. let's pray, you go first.  

I bowed my head and got on my knees and Britton began to pray. He said:

Dear God, please take care of everyone that loves you, thank you for this day you have given us, please help Kate get better so that the doctors can fix her heart.  Amen

Britton's intimacy with his Heavenly Father never ceases to amaze me.  There was no silliness in him when he was praying.  No, he prayed like a man with many years of life experience under his belt.  Sometimes I feel like our roles are reversed.  Like he is teaching me about an intimate walk with Christ instead of me teaching him.  

God has big plans for my precious son....I just know it....now if I would just get out of the way! *chuckle*

bikes, bikes and more bikes

today was day one of the Tour of Missouri 2009...I have been counting down the days since April....because I knew we would be taking the boys to the race in St Louis and that the next day it would be in Cape!  They had a blast!  Brit said, "this is so awesome" and Aidan even enjoyed the bicycles....the race at St Louis was about 3 hours in length and it was just as Britton said, it was AWESOME!!!  It is so amazing to be just 3 feet from the world famous cyclists that you have seen on TV racing in France!  Jens Vaught was there and we watched him take a HUGE tumble in France this summer...he looked like he recovered fine!  Another huge moment for me was Floyd Landis was there and riding...never thought we'd see that again!  Of course, my favorite, LEVI was there and that was exciting, but Brit wanted to cheer Jens on, so we will follow the race even AFTER it has left Cape and cheer on Jens!  

My boys are learning that there are more organized sports out there than just baseball, basketball and football and I LOVE it!  I didn't learn this life lesson until later in life...and I wish I had..but I will celebrate these precious  moments when I can show my boys another world!  

I am attaching a picture of Aidan and his Daddy....when I took the picture I was saying, say cheese, aidan smile...no go...I said, say bicycle..he looked straight at the camera and said "bicycle"...I told Josh later..just watch, he will end up being our cyclist!  

school, plans, the future

Today was a tough day for me.  Last night was my first PTL meeting as a MOM.  I've been to PTO meetings as a teacher before, but last night I was a mommy there for my boy!  I knew when we signed Britton up in a Lutheran school that they used the Accelerated Reader program to teach reading.  I cannot stand that reading program.  It really limits their access to quality literature.  And I know some kids will not read a book, no matter how good it may be because it's not on the AR list!  Then on top of this curriculum upset, I felt so out of place last night b/c we are NOT Lutheran.  They said the Lord's Prayer to close and it was so robotic it made me uncomfortable.  I actually forgot some of the words because I was so distracted by the monotonous tones and unfeeling words coming out of their mouths.  Mine as well.....then as if that wasn't enough....no one tried to meet us...Britton's teacher didn't even try to reach out to us....I have never felt so disappointed.  I have dreamed of the day when I could be active and involved in the PTL at my child's school and I felt like the only way you could REALLY be involved was if you went to St Paul.  So frustrating....

So, today...just on a whim, I got on the website of the school that the boys would go to if we moved to Colorado Springs.  It is phenomenal...Spanish, French, Latin...not to mention Apologetics, Roman studies...etc...the boys would learn sooooo much!  Plus it's inter-denominational....I could have cried....my heart wants so much more for them...so much more opportunity....

Plus, I want the boys to be in a community where they are actively seeking God's will...we have had such a hard time here, that I don't know if that will happen...As anyone can see by reading this, my heart is in turmoil.  I am trying to pray for God's will on us moving...but I find myself begging and pleading and like a spoiled child, presenting my case to Him...

So, here's my prayer and I will have to remind myself of this prayer on a regular basis..

Lord, you're will, but you know my heart...You know our struggles here...but we want to be obedient to you...If it is your will for us to stay, please protect us, give us a community, a church to be involved in, help us with our finances...help us clean up this mess that I got us in....But if it is within your will for us to move, help us find a job, a home, a church, and help the transition for the boys be a smooth one...Make it clear for us Lord....as I want it so bad, I am looking for ANY sort of sign....Give us wisdom, patience and contentment while I wait.....and remind me that while I'm waiting, I need to worship, while I'm waiting, I will serve you, while I'm waiting, I will not fail...I'll be running the race...even while I wait...

Amen...

First sick day!

Today after Brit had been in school for two hours, I got a phone call.  His school was calling to tell me that Brit had a fever and I needed to come and get him.  When I got to the school, I walked into the office and into the nurses room and there he sat on a cot.  When he saw me, I smiled and said, "Hey!"  Immediately, tears started pouring down his cheeks!  I said, "Hey Brit, what's the matter?"  He bravely wiped the tears and said, "Nothin"  I said, "what's wrong?"  He said, sniff, sniff, "I'm in trouble."  I said, "you're not in trouble, why would you say that?"  He said, "Well, I'm in the office."  

It about broke my heart that he had been sitting in their thinking he was in trouble...I promised him we could hang out and get McDonalds! He was all smiles after that!  

Some may feel like having their school kid home was a pain...b/c they couldn't do what they want to.  However, I am kind of excited about having a day with Brit..I believe we will do something, just me and my Big Boy while Aidy takes a nap....

cycling

we went cycling yesterday as a family!  First time since we got our new bikes.  I have always liked riding bikes and Josh and I used to do a great deal of it pre kid..However, after Brit was born, unfortunately, we trailed off (no pun intended)...Ironically, that is about when my cycling obsession became more intense...lol...So, yesterday we set out...what we have been trying to do since Mother's Day, on a family cycling expedition....we were on the trail for about 5 minutes and Britton managed to find the FIRST mud hole and fell face first in it...Mud everywhere!  Only Brit!  He got up and rode, like a champ, the rest of the way, covered in mud!  I would have demanded going back to the car for a shower!  I did realize though, that we need to do more real exercising....Brit said his legs were hurting him.  We really need to show him how important regular exercise is!  

It was overall a good trip.  Aidan woke up the next day, asking if we could go biking...:)  

Hopefully, this was one of many!!!!!  Well, no hopefully to it, it IS one of many!!!

A Little Britton in my day!

 Since Britton has started school....I have noticed he chats my ear off when he gets home...It's like he misses talking to me...or at least that is what I thought and was confirmed in my thinking today.  When we were on our way to recycling, Britton said, "momma, are you gonna have a baby when I grow up?" I said, "no baby, momma is done having babies."  He said, "but you will be all alone,"  I said, "Oh, I'll be ok."  He said, "Momma, I'm really gonna miss you when I grow up." I looked in the rear view mirror and he had tears in his eyes.  I said, "oh, Brit it will be ok, I'll come see you and call you." 

I cannot help but wonder if when he's 27 he will still feel like this! lol!  

When he got home, he was sitting on his bed, I was in his closet getting out some clothes.  He said, 'momma, the girl Kate in my class,' "uh, uh," I said, 

"She has fallen madly in love with me."  

I thought, oh no, what do I say?

I said,"Well, what makes you think that?"

He said, "she said she is my best friend, but I think she has fallen MADLY in love with me!"

I know he has to grow up, but after these two little stories, I realize, I need a little Britton in my day...I need to make time for us to "TALK" more!  He is so interesting!  I love that child of mine!

Casting Crowns

 Aidan got to go to his FIRST concert on Friday, June 19th!  It was a very exciting time for me.  I love taking my kids to Christian concerts and this one was MY favorite all time band!  Casting Crowns!  One of the great things about this concert was being able to meet them!  We had back stage passes in response to an email I had sent the band!  Britton was very excited.  We listen to them all the time and he has been able to sing their songs since before he could even speak very clearly.  Now, Aidan was getting to go!  He seemed to have a good time. A little intimidated at first b/c of all the lights and sound, but he soon started to enjoy it!  

I always get such a blessing out of hearing/seeing Casting Crowns.  EVERY song they sing touches me!  The most amazing part of this concert though, was that today at church, EVERYTHING connected directly to Casting Crowns music and the message that Mark Hall brought to the audience.  I keep thinking, OK God, what did I miss the other night that you want to make sure I hear?  From the praise music to the message, it was as if everyone had went to the concert, though I know they hadn't.  God is so good....I am still not sure what I missed the other night, but I sure know one thing, He must really love me to "replay" it for me!  What a mighty God we serve!!!!

Wishes

I watched Miss Potter tonight on TV.  Every time I watch this movie, I can't help but get on my computer and look up Hill Top Farm in Cumbria in England.  I cannot wait to take Britton to this most beautiful place.  I have been reading stories of Beatrix Potter's during our reading time together and he adores the stories, as I knew he would!  I know that Britton is a child after my soul.  He has the heart that adores learning of new places and he enjoys reading.  Why, just today, he read an ENTIRE book all on his own.  I only assisted with a few words.  An ENTIRE book!  At the age of 5....I am so proud of him.  I can imagine he and I in England walking along the countryside, writing in our journals all that we are unable to speak audibly to each other.  Then, hopefully, we can switch journals and I will see how the countryside of another country, another CONTINENT touches his heart and compare it to how it touches mine.  I have told Britton of Beatrix Potter and will make it a point to someday, soon, show him her home on my computer and EVENTUALLY show him in REAL LIFE!  Someday soon!  Very Soon!!!

Footprints

I saw a footprint on the steps going down the stairs in my house today.  The type of carpet I have is really fluffy and sometimes if you step just right, you can leave a footprint.  Well, evidently Brit did...I am not sure why it caught my eye, but it did and I couldn't fight the urge to bend down and touch it.  I had the sudden thought, that in such a short time, I would look down and wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Brit's footprints or his daddy's.  Sometimes I get in such a hurry helping Brit grow, talking with him about when he becomes a man, that I don't realize that every day he is one step closer.  Why is it that they are little for such a short time?! I am writing this in the hopes that someday, as I am walking down the stairs and look down and notice a size 11 man footprint, I will be able to look back in my blogs and remember what it was like to look down and see a size 11 little boy footprint.  A breath taking memory....

Birthday parties

Tonight we went to a birthday party and both my boys had so much fun!  We have come so far in the last six months.  From no friends, to a yard full in less than a year is amazing to me.  God has really blessed us.  When we moved here it ended up being one of the hardest things I have had to go through.  Britton didn't handle the move really well.  He went from sleeping through the night, no problems to getting up 3 or 4 times a night.  It was really hard on us.  Part of me was still in Columbia, b/c all of our friends were there and we were having a hard time fitting in around here.  That feeling of not fitting in continued until I met Joni & Brad.  I told Josh, after meeting them at our yard sale, that I thought Joni and I could be good friends....Who knew that in 5 months we would have a business together and be friends!  Joni has introduced us to many new friends...I can't help but think how blessed I am, especially after events like tonight when we were all there and I am faced with the enormity of this blessing....God is good to me, and I do NOT deserve it!  

Aidan and the pool

 Today we got a small pool for the kiddos to play in on days when it is just too hot to play outside and NOT be in the water!  However, today was NOT one of those days, but I couldn't keep the boys out of the water!  It was really kind of chilly after the rain came but they still wanted to swim.  I was sitting at the kitchen table working on something for work and I saw Aidan run into the house, get in the closet and run back out with something in his hand.  I snuck out into the garage and saw him standing in the pool with MY white knit cap on his head.  I said, "Aidy, why do you have on a cap?"  His response, "I told (cold)"......He's brilliant!

a day out at the movies

We went to see Up today, Josh the boys and I, and we received much more than thought possible.  I was allowed an hour and a bit of snuggle time with Aidan, who in his goal to be a big boy, refused to sit in his car seat, which we carried in for him.  I was also treated to a movie that tugged at the heartstrings.  I even heard my strong hubby sniffle a couple of times.  The movie reminded me that the GREATEST adventure of all time, is the one I am on...I have two little adventurers with me and should we have another or adopt another, I would ONLY make the adventure greater still!  Even the days when I am wore out and the kids are whiney and stubborn, they never cease to remind me at some point that this is indeed what life is all about!  Pixar has hit another home run in cinematography!  Britton loved it and it even held Aidan's attention!  It is definitely worth whatever it costs to go see this movie with your family!  Indeed worth EVERY penny!