Mundane, Fundane....Mothering is HARD..

Today, just for kicks, I checked out the standings for the Parent's Magazine Best Blog awards...I had to chuckle when I saw over 250 blogs in my category. (wow)..Anywho, being a blog enthusiast, I perused through a few of the blogs.  While doing so, I noticed something that got me to thinking...MOST of the topics of the blogs nominated are blogs about how to be a GOOD mom.  While there are also several home schooling blogs and blogs on adoption, crafting, cooking...The majority of the blogs are blogs showing you how "Sally" does THIS and you should too!  As I was reading a few of these blogs that promise to make me, not a GOOD but a BETTER Momma, I was reminded of something that I have struggled with as a stay at home momma.  You see, I have always said I am a reluctant stay at home mom.  I am only home because God has told me to be there.  It is not exactly something I long to do.  I have always loved working and have even given it a shot at one time, at which I QUICKLY learned I am not cut out to be both a working momma and a good momma...Many of you mommas out there ARE good working momma's and man do I envy you.  But, I digress.  Being home, a bit reluctantly, I feel like I am constantly pressuring myself to be BETTER!  And seeing how many blogs are out there telling us how to be better confirm my suspicions that I am not alone! 
As I was looking at the blog topics ( trying not to panic)...and perusing a few of the blogs themselves, I couldn't help but think about how stressful parenting is.  And we momma's are so hard on each other AND ourselves.  If you don't nurse you're a bad momma..if you DO nurse you're a bad momma...if you send your kids to public vs private..school vs homeschool...uniforms vs store bought clothes...Target brand vs Wal-Mart.  The judgements and looks of disappointment come at us from EVERY angle...even from our very own mirrors.
When I think of parenting my sons, if I give it too much thought, I will send myself straight into a panic attack.  Am I strict enough, am I too strict? Do I cuddle enough, do I cuddle so much they're gonna be "momma's boys"?  If I pop a frozen pizza in the oven am I feeding them too many preservatives? And by the time the 20 seconds of contemplation are over I have broken out into a sweat and am frantically reaching for my Starbucks to calm me down!  Why, exactly, do we do this to ourselves? Why are we frantically scouring the web looking for a blog to tell us how to be better momma's?  Why can't we all just..well, to risk sounding goofy...WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!  or most importantly why can't we accept that WE are who God entrusted with our children...We are THEIR perfect parent..just the way we are!  Why do we have to judge each other? I've said it before but I firmly believe that we momma's gotta stick together.  It's a harsh world out there...a world that desires to educate our children waaaaaaay sooner than they (or we) are ready for.  We need to join together...form a barrier if you will.  Momma's against THEM...not Momma's against Momma's.
You see, we ALL love our babies..kids...teens...adult offspring.  Instead of torturing each other with these Mommy wars, we should be offering support.  Find a mentor-Momma or better yet, BE a mentor momma!  I am a lucky Momma in that I have a dear friend who has launched 2 children into adult-hood and is always willing to listen to me rant about the latest stain on my carpet...she doesn't *tsk* *tsk* at me and say, "enjoy 'em while they're young" (I do NOT wanna hear that right now!!! I have a huge purple circle in the middle of my living room!!!!!!!).  No, instead, she giggles and says hang in there, here's what I used to get grape juice stains out of tan carpet.  She calls occasionally just to say "hey" and occasionally we meet for coffee (whenever my carpet stains will allow it).  She is my mentor-mom.  She is a MOM who mentors ME...she's been in the trenches..our personalities are similar and she passes no judgment because well, to be frank...we're honest with each other...parenting, particularly MOTHERING is flippin' hard work & she offers me sound, biblical advice...she isn't worried about me warping the children...she remembers all to well what it's like...and she shares those experiences...she doesn't sit on 'em and pray no one knows she struggled. If she DID hide her struggles...they would all be for naught.  Instead, she is using them to HELP me!   
As Momma's, we should be willing to tell our fellow momma's how "Johnny" (or Aidan) wouldn't stop yelling BANANA at the top of his lungs last night in the bathtub and you felt like you were losing your mind! And as the listening momma..we should shake our heads and say oh yeah, that stinks, man I've been there..giggle with the sharing momma then offer to buy her a coffee, or tea, whatever her passion!
Let's remove the stress of "perfect" parenting and just admit we are all doing the best we can and while all the parenting books/blogs tell us to do it this way or that way and we better count the calories or our kids will be fat or they will be warped or ax murderers or WHATEVER, we should just KNOW that our kids will be fine...because we are giving them a solid foundation...we are showing them the Love our Heavenly Father shows us...and we are GOOD Momma's!  And, just possibly, the next time your "Johnny" (or Aidan) screams banana at the top of his lungs in the bathtub...step outta the room, take a deep breath, head back in (like a soldier going into battle) and match his "banana" with a yelled SPLIT of your own & maybe even listen closely.  You may be surprised to hear the joy that Little Johnny (or Aidan) is experiencing during bath time!  Psalms 51:8a "Make me to hear joy and gladness." (even if it is to the detriment of your eardrums!)

Don't forget to giggle during the mundane of Mommy-hood...Genesis 21:6 Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me." 
If I could sit down with you and a cup of coffee...I guarantee we would giggle our way through Mommy-hood...because it's just more FUN that way! 

Precisely 2 minutes before the juice stain appeared

Me (makeup less) and my oldest Britton

My hairstylist, Aidan, (he seems to LOVE giving me gray hairs)..well, being Aidan

Giving his 1 year old brother a ride...DOWN A HILL! (I feel my hair changing color just looking at this)

Digging Deep

I just finished watching a video series that hit me in the gut.  Now as a mom, usually I find that if things aren't pretty or flashing lights, I have a hard time getting interested.  It could have to do with my sleep deprived life of having 3 sons under the age of 7...(well, I'm blaming that anyway!) However, recently I reviewed a video series for the publisher Waterbrook-Multnomah.  The series is called Desiring God by John Piper and is based off of the book that was released several years ago.  In the videos, John Piper further explains how God is most glorified when we are happy in Him.  Hmmmm....interesting concept...Then John Piper explains how today's circumstances and situations in our lives should be experienced with the Glory of God in mind.  Now I'm interested!
Although, the videos did remind me of videos I used to watch in college seminars, *ugh* I couldn't seem to pull myself away from them....I came to the conclusion that John Piper doesn't need bells or whistles..the Word is the meat!  It is what kept me coming back for more.  I found myself longing to just sit and watch all the videos in one sitting...my 1 year old didn't concur.  So, unfortunately, I had to break my viewing up into sessions...bummer.   Now, it wasn't PRETTY...the case didn't chime when I opened it and there was no funny Mom-like figure cracking jokes about diapers and bottles to keep me engaged...but I did find that I learned MORE from these series of videos than just about ANY study I can recall.  Sometimes, I believe we momma's need to get serious about our Faith...and put aside our "fun" "bubble" filled lives and just GET IN the word..and dig deep.  How else can I teach my sons to take their faith seriously, if Momma doesn't...that not ALL spiritual moments are like a day at VBS or Acquire the Fire.
So, if you're a momma and you're looking for a good video to help you dig deep in your quiet time, might I recommend the Desiring God video by John Piper...You will NOT be disappointed!
~in Him...
Misty

Simple as THAT

Joe, Emma, Lisa and Ben Merkatoris (Lisa's gonna hate me for this pic!)

Thomas, Jack & Britton (buddies)

I've been a little quiet this week...it's been a week of tears in our home...now you may have a panicked thought, like, oh NO, what's happened...is someone sick? Did someone pass away? Is someone hurt? and I can answer with a firm NO...however, for the Griffin family the tears flowed just the same.  You see, this week we found out that our neighbors and close friends, the Merkatoris family, will soon be leaving us for the cold air and snow that comes with living in Wisconsin.  While our hearts break for US, we rejoice for them...it is where they want to be...it's where they belong.  My kids understand this feeling so well that on Wednesday on the way home from school Aidan said, "Momma, I wish my daddy would get a job where WE want to be, you know Colowado." Yes, Aidan..I know...but for now, God wants us here.  Hard to swallow at times, but it is all in His timing...oh yes, VERY hard to swallow. 
As I trudged through the week, always one thought away from a torrent of tears, I have been told, by well meaning folk no doubt, "just one more place to visit" and "you'll keep in touch, it will just be on the phone"...but much like a toddler in a toy store, I feel the urge to stomp my foot and scream "That's NOT GOOD ENOUGH".  I enjoy hearing my sons say, "Momma, I'm going out to play with Thomas and Jack," "Momma, can I go play with Emma?"...and I get to have play dates sometimes too..when things get to "manly" in my house, I can escape very quickly, across the street and lose myself in the little girl world of Emma Merkatoris or just sit and talk with her mom, Lisa, about GIRL stuff....it may be a conversation as simple as what ice cream we were craving last night, but for some reason it gives me my "girl" and my "friend" fix all at the same time.  But even more than those wonderful things..is seeing another family as "weird" as we are, outside enjoying the fresh air...having lightsaber battles, riding bikes, just being a family. Sometimes I feel like the times of "just playing outside" have gone away...we are an inside culture...but then again, maybe that is more of a regional thing...but since we have lived in our town, I have noticed more and more that kids very rarely just go outside to BE outside.  When the Merkatoris' moved in, and they were outside..I thought we hit pay dirt and they quickly became a part of our EVERY DAY.  And, now, it's all about to change.  *sigh*
As I said, tears have flowed a plenty this week...and right now is no different *sniff sniff*..I have spent much time in prayer...asking God to HELP me be not only a good friend and support their move and not make a horrible groaning noise when Lisa talks about their upcoming move, but to also be a good solid mommy for my boys who haven't yet had to face the reality of being the only "weird" kids in the neighborhood again...It was during a time of prayer, well, OK PLEADING with God to give me strength..that I remembered this story in the Bible.  It involves David, go figure, and while I've shared it before...I'll share it again.

1 Samuel 20:41-42  here is a little back story first...Jonathan's father, Saul was jealous of David and wanted to kill him...but Jonathan and David were best friends and Jonathan wanted to keep David safe..so they decided that they should depart and perhaps not see each other again..

"..David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times with his face to the ground.  Then they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most.  Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord saying, 'The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever." 

You see, I will be David...I will probably weep the most, because, well, I'm a weepy person and I AM the one getting left after all! BUT..there is reason to hope...we live in a world where travel is so easy.  There is no reason for us to not travel to WI to see our friends..to make a promise to see each other at least once a year!  The friendships that have been built between our children will last forever...they are just too priceless not to.  And the kindred spirit I have found in Lisa...well, that goes without saying.  So, for now..I will hug and kiss her....and tell her that the Lord is a witness..we will be friends forever..and our kids will know each other..and love each other..because, that's just the way it is.  And during this time of transition..that is what I will choose to focus on.

Simple as that. 

~love you "Megatrons" aka Merktoris'...

Simple times in a NOT simple world

Britton & Liam, at the park

Aidy, playing outside, shirtless (how he spent most of the summer!)

Eating breakfast with Momma

Cycling with Dad

 Summer for the Griffin family has officially come to an end.  Today, my middle son started Pre K.  And while I am thankful for the opportunity to clean the house without walking into the just finished room and finding a dumped out bucket of cars, I also feel a little sad.  This summer in a word, was wonderful. 
As I mentioned in a previous post, the Griffin family decided to break the mold.. & forgo camps this summer.  Instead, choosing to spend quality time.... together.  And as it turns out,  it was the absolute best decision we have yet to make for our family. While Brit did go to cub scout camp, the other weeks of summer were spent making spontaneous trips to get ice cream, staying up late, sleeping in, drawing masterpieces, trips to the park, going for walks, & and many many more "simple" activities.  Now to some of you this may sound lame, but for us it was as sweet as chocolate syrup! Because, during this summer our family grew TOGETHER.  While we have always been close, the slow pace, and not busy life we chose helped us to learn more about each other...we made each other laugh...and we learned how to just BE together. 
While growing together was amazing, we also noticed that the boys each grew individually.  The big boys learned how to be BIG brothers to their baby brother...Aidan, who was always content being the "baby" took on a leadership, big brotherly role with Liam.  He would fix him a waffle for breakfast, crawl into Liam's crib with him and they would just lay there...Liam with his blanket and passy, Aidan with his lovey and his thumb.  Britton learned so much this summer as well.  He would wake earlier than his two younger brothers and spend some quiet time in the living room...and occasionally would join me on the deck where we would sit and enjoy breakfast...talking about life.  He also learned the value of quality time with just him and Dad.  Britton expanded on his interest in cycling this summer and on the weekends would rise early with Dad and go cycling.  They had a blast and Britton really seemed to enjoy that special one on one time. 
In the evenings after supper, when it finally cooled down enough to be outside, we would run outside and ride bikes, walk, play frisbee or whatever else tickled our fancy.  Most importantly, we were TOGETHER...enjoying each other, no matter what activity was involved. 
This summer, another important event occurred.  This was the summer that our family went on their first camping trip!  It was as humid as all get out, but we had a BLAST!  The memories that were made are ones that will never be forgotten.
While this summer was a simple summer...we weren't running around...shuttling from camp to camp, activity to activity...it was wonderful.  My kids were just kids.  They played. Used their imaginations, enjoyed each other...it was simple, and perhaps you may think old fashioned..but that's ok..because, while it was a bit old fashioned...it was also, precious.  Full of precious memories..precious moments...and it is those memories and moments that will stay with them...for the rest of their lives.  

A Special Kind of Club...

My own, oldest...Britton, PROUD 2nd Grader

During the month of August, every year, all across America...a phenomenon occurs...a uniting, if you will.  An event that up until 3 years ago, I never knew existed!  Now, I am one of the millions of members.  During the month of August,  Momma's of school age children, get their hearts ready to send their child onto the next grade level...into a new room, with a new teacher, new "potential" friends, a new building...or if they are like friends of mine, an entirely new town! And during the month of August, all defenses are down...we're not stay at home momma's vs working momma's, breast momma's vs bottle momma's, boy momma's vs girl momma's.  No, in August, we ALL join together and become "heavy- hearted Momma's". Bonded..by the inevitable day when we have to "let go". 
Since the day my oldest son started pre school, it has become clearer to me why Momma's used to cry when they sent their kids to school on the first day of 6th grade! As a teacher, I would stand and stare and think.."seriously? You've been doing this 7 years..why are there still tears?"  Now...I get it.  No matter HOW old your child is..or how long you've been doing it, there is just something sad about seeing a summer of sleeping late, spontaneous picnics, cheering as they learn to ride their bike with NO training wheels (ugh), staying out till dark to catch fire flies and late night smores being replaced with early bedtimes, homework, alarm clocks and a drop-off line at a building that is NOT home!  They will no longer be with YOU all day long...they spend the majority of their days with another person...*sigh*....and you are stuck facing the reality that they really DONT need you as much as you like to convince yourself they do.  *blech*
So, as August passes this year, say a little prayer that we can actually DROP them off without shedding those tears, I mean gosh, who wants to cry in front of their independent kid? (wouldn't work anyway..they still leave!) and remind yourself that you are not alone...there are millions of other momma's out there doing the same thing...whose eyes are also burning with un-shed tears. Who also has to wave goodbye and either walk to their car...and/or (gulp) drive away.  And whether this be your oldest child's first year of Kindergarten or your youngest child's first year of High School, we are all in this together...UNITED...We are ALL Momma's having to let go.
 And, after we've made the long drive home or to work...we should all raise our coffee mugs and say "cheers"...CHEERS to you, Momma's...oh, and if this IS your first experience of having to leave your child all-day-long....We welcome you to the club...because you're not alone.  We are ALL with you.... Cheers *sniff, sniff*
    CHEERS.

School, mean kids, Momma's & Him

Britton (& Momma)

As I'm sitting on the deck, this morning, listening to the chirping birds, enjoying the cool air and just spending some quiet time praying and learning, I am hit with a sudden realization.  My oldest son, Britton, will be starting 2nd grade next week.  I remember so well my 2nd grade year...and what I remember isn't all good.  I remember it being a rough year...where friends divided up...boys played with boys, girls played with girls...girls ganged UP on girls...cliches were formed...hmm. 
Now, as a momma, I look at my oldest and my heart lurches.  I don't want him to suffer anymore than absolutely necessary.  I even had the thought, well if I can just go WITH him, surely I can help him pick out the "good" kids! *chuckle* You know, because it is absolutely COOL to have your momma with you in 2nd grade! ha! I'm not alone... I'm sure all momma's feel this way...at some point...we want to protect our babies..even when they are 18, 21...35.  We don't want them to feel any hurt...it makes our hearts lurch to even THINK about it.  When I think of someone being mean to Brit or even him feeling alone, my throat burns, my eyes water up, Momma bear claws pop out....not pretty.  All of us Momma's feel that way about our babies...even if we ARE too tough to admit it! 
Unfortunately, our monkeys do grow up on us...and even MORE unfortunate is the fact that they are going to face pain inflicted by others...they will feel disappointment for not being picked first....and they will face sadness at some point in their lives.  Unfortunately.  But the NOT so unfortunate thing is that they can have a sidekick...a secret weapon of sorts.  You see, I don't send Brit to school alone...visibly yes, he's by himself... much as I think Momma's SHOULD be allowed to go with them...we are not. But there is another presence with him.  During the school day, I pray for God's presence to be with him.  To not leave him...to encourage him, embrace him if he needs it, to show him right from wrong...but most importantly, that Britton wouldn't be "damaged" by the harmful ways of fellow peers.  I spend the day, off and on, pleading with God to protect my baby...
Now you may be thinking, well that's all good and well, but what about the hurt in OUR hearts...how do we keep from MURDERING those that hurt our young? You see, during that prayer time, not only am I lifting up Britton...I'm also lifting up myself...asking God to still my heart...to help me BEAR it when he comes home upset because of what someone said, didn't say; did or didn't do.  But most importantly, that God would help me see that this is a part of life...sadly enough...and as a momma, my job is to lift them up, when they are young...and to teach them to lift themselves up in prayer as they mature.  Help them to see that they are not alone...and that though it may seem tough, it's all for a better purpose, even though right now, it just plain sucks!  Sadly, that, in this world, simply believing in the one who never leaves you makes you a target for ridicule, judgment, sarcasm...and yes, even hatred... and that as painful as that is, you still never leave Him.  Life is tough...but HE is tougher.  Tears are perfectly ok...screaming into your pillow, TOTALLY acceptable....We mommas, need to remind them that, though it may happen all over again tomorrow, you still must be strong...hold onto the one who loves you more than life...remember that you are loved and precious...and know that Momma will be waiting in the car when school is over...waiting with a hug or high five...waiting to tell you that it's ok...you're safe now.  

Love you Brit...

Psalm 71:1

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. 

Quiet and Motherhood...yeah, I don't think so!

Do you ever have one of those days where you don't wanna do anything but curl up with your current read and just sit on the deck and enjoy the breeze and chirping birds? Well, I do..and today is definitely one of those days!  Not that things are bad, but just wanna escape in my own little world for a while.  Unfortunately as a momma, this is most often than not impossible not to mention impractical!  With three monkeys running around, I have to be ON at all times!  Now, don't get me wrong, I have TRIED to escape, but I am usually brought back from my nirvana by a high pitched scream, a crash, an argument or just the baby wanting some juice.  I have a sister-in-law who doesn't, at this time, have any children...I call to chat and it's so...what's the word...ah..quiet!  We chat and I ask what she has planned for the day..not much...reading..cleaning..sounds heavenly.  And while it truly DOES sound heavenly, especially on days like today, when I just wanna curl up inside myself and be with my own thoughts..my own prayers...my own ponderings..I wouldn't trade my monkeys for ANYTHING!  The day of quiet will come soon enough.  Yes, it may seem far off, right now...but looking at the life of my seasoned mom friends who have launched multiple children into adulthood, I realize the blessing I do have dancing around in front of me right now.  Josh and I have committed to live in the now...enjoy the blessings, in the NOW.  So, while there may be crashes, arguing, spills on the carpet, and very few quiet moments...I will relish in the few seconds I can squeeze in and then giggle with the best of 'em! Here's to hoping you can squeeze in a few quiet moments too...cheers

Mars, Moms and Sons

It's almost time!  I have waited, checked the Disney website, watched all the trailers..and TOMORROW is the day!  Mars Needs Moms will be available in stores tomorrow!  Big deal, you might be thinking...But, Berkeley Breathed has been a favorite author of mine since I first purchased Edward Fudwupper Fibbed Big for my oldest son, Britton on his first birthday.  The illustrations were bright & colorful and the Dr Seuss-like rhymes made reading it an adventure!  I immediately began a quest to find MORE Berkeley Breathed books for our personal library and stumbled upon Red Ranger Came Calling at a yard sale...score!  When Mars Needs Moms came out..I read the book with a quivering voice and tears burning my eyes and thought we had hit the mother load!  (no pun intended)  There is so much wonderful literature out there, but for some reason, there is so little describing the love a mother has for her son and how SOMETIMES those sons don't realize what they have.  Mars Needs Moms quickly became a favorite of mine and Brittons and we would read it together almost daily!  BONUS: It became the FIRST books he took to Kg to share with his class.  When we heard through the entertainment grapevine that the movie was being made we counted down the days!  When it was in theatres, my oldest son and middle son and I got dressed up, went to eat and then went to the movies and watched our favorite book play out on screen.  If I do say...I was the luckiest girl in the theatre that night! (and NO I was NOT biased!)


So..If you're a mom of boys, check out Mars Needs Moms tomorrow...I'm sure it will be in Red Box soon enough! Pop some popcorn...pour yourself a glass of Dt Coke and your lil handsome guy a Root Beer and sit down and enjoy some Momma/Son time...all too soon, it will end and that moment spent watching a movie that shows the beauty in a mother/son relationship will be one of his fondest memories...I'm sure it will rank high as yours too...or at least it is mine! 

Me and my little men...LtoR: Aidan, Britton & Liam

Vines, Grapes, the Twilight Zone & Him

I just finished my latest read, Secrets of the Vine by Bruce Wilkinson.  When I started the book, it was out of a sort of obligation, as it was what came next on my reading list.  As I "trudged" through, I commented to a few people that it was a proverbial thumbs down, but on I read.  Having told my students and now my kids to never abandon a book, because it just might surprise you, I was determined to finish it, within this century.   About 3/4 of the way through, the author started talking about how the vine dresser will prune the vine to produce more fruit.  That, though we may believe letting it grow and grow and grow would produce more, it is indeed the pruning process, the cutting away, that produces more grapes.  Hmmm...
Recently, Josh had an opportunity arise that I just KNEW was the fruition of the promise that God revealed to us two years ago.  In my excitement, I put all my eggs in one basket, to put it nicely.  I spiritually began to build my heart around that promise, spending all my quiet time talking/thinking about the promise and began to abandon the time I had promised to spend abiding in Him..A huge change was a coming, I reasoned, I had MUCH to do.  I began shutting out people in my life, instead of dealing with issues that would arise, I stopped talking to acquaintances that I knew wouldn't continue once the change occurred.  I also stopped working...You see, I am honored to be able to work with Operation Christmas Child.  A ministry that strives to bring a little Christmas in a shoe box to children who are without.  A ministry that I LOVE...a ministry that I enjoy being a part of...because of these big changes, I quit.  Too busy, too much change, I reasoned.  But that is not what He wanted.  He wanted me to keep working..even though there may be big changes...to keep building relationships, to keep working through my past, the issues that haunted me.  Not shut them out.  You see, in the last 5 years, God has done a mighty mighty work in me...(Yes, I do realize how RELIGIOUS that sounds, yet, it is true) This past that blackened parts of my heart, that kept me from him, I have allowed for Him to make new..I have allowed for Him to take away all the UGLY in me and replace it with a compassion, a love and a heart that desperately wants to walk with Him.  Now, don't get me wrong...I still falter...the ugly still rears it's ugly head on occasion, but real progress to make me into His princess has been made. 
So, as I'm reading my book....and I come to the part where he talks about pruning, I am a bit hesitant.  I felt my spirit saying keep going, but part of me wanted to put it down..make any excuse I could come up with to abandon that book.  Yet, I learned long ago, that if there was a force telling me NOT to listen to a certain sermon, or to come up with an excuse to NOT read my bible or latest God inspired book, then that means something BIG is coming...and the enemy is afraid if I continue the change is going to ROCK HIS WORLD...so, I picked up the book and forged ahead...and was not disappointed..(which is USUALLY the case). 
In my excitement...and all of my, well, to put it honestly, OBSESSIVENESS over the "promise", I revealed a desperate need to be pruned.  I can still abide in Him even though changes are coming and not revolve my quiet time around those changes.  I can still work until the day the change occurs and stay determined to work once the change has passed.  I can maintain relationships with acquaintances..which He prefers because how else can I be a witness for Him...and I can continue to work through the hurts and blackened portions of my heart...just because there is a change coming, doesn't mean I stop!  On the contrary..he wants me to cling MORE to him...not say, ok, God..I see that the promise is just around the bend..I got it now...thanks for the help!  On the contrary.  He wants me to stay focused.  Keep working..keep working for OCC, keep working for Him.  On my own, it would be impossible to keep working in OCC, to keep working through the pain of the past, to keep up the acquaintances...but, I'm not ON my own.  I have the one who created the world, ready to hold me, ready to cheer me on, ready to look into my face and tell me how much He loves me.  I have the one who sent His son, ready to give me a heart for people, a heart to love, a heart of compassion, a heart..like His.
In order for Him to get my attention, to show me, how His PROMISE had replaced HIM in my life, he had to remove the promise from my immediate vision.  I don't believe he has taken it away for good...I merely feel that he has blocked it from me for a while.  After the opportunity was gone, I told Josh and several others who listened to me, that it was like we were in the Twilight Zone..it was there and then POOF it was gone.  It's not gone...just blocked..because if I don't keep my eyes on Him, I can't achieve his promise anyway.  It's kind of like when I am explaining to my eldest son what his chores are and he keeps looking over my shoulder at whatever is going on behind me and I touch his cheek and gently say, Brit..focus.  God put himself in front of His promise and said, Misty, focus. 
Now, you may be wondering why in the world I would share this..and I can honestly say, I'm not sure! I just hope that if you're reading this, and if He is asking you to focus on the pruning...focus on Him..while he makes you what HE wants you to be, and all that you can be that you listen...and know that pruning while not exactly FUN (kinda stinks when you realize what a DORK you've been), it can be a sweet sweet moment... a time for you to say Oh Father, I love you....and to FOCUS on His face.