My Grandpa

My Grandpa's name was Verly McCord Jr.  He was a tall man.  A man who smiled a lot.  I can remember, noticing at a very young age, how when my Grandma walked into the room my Grandpa's voice was always filled with such love when he would greet her.  I remember watching him smile whenever she was around.  My Grandpa was an amazing man.  He would take me fishing, spend time with me...Even coloring a picture was special because he would do it with me...I remember curling up on his lap and looking at a book or just curling up to watch a show on television.  It didn't matter what we did...ever moment was fun because I was with my Grandpa.  He loved me. VERY much..I never doubted this.  I've been told stories of him defending me..looking out for me..but even without these stories, I always KNEW he loved me.  

I recently watched an episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory was bonding with her Grandfather.  I found tears burning my eyes.  Grandpa passed on when I was in the first grade.  I definitely have lived longer without him in my life than with him in.  Occasionally, I look at my boys or hear them say something and I can't help but think that Grandpa would love them and spend time with them like he did with me.  That he would look at them and see parts of me (from when I was younger).  I just know he would tell them stories of when he used to spend time with me.  Britton would have adored my grandpa and the feeling would have been mutual.  

However, this is not the only reason that on this particular day I find myself struggling not to cry.  I want my Grandpa here for very selfish reasons.  For me.  I miss him so much sometimes it hurts to breathe.  I know that he would come visit me no matter where I lived.  He would love me and love Josh and would share stories of my childhood with me.  He would fill a part of me that is forever void..the Grandpa part.  I know God has a purpose for everything...but sometimes I just wish he didn't feel the need to take him so soon.  Before I really had even begun to live.  I used to dream of seeing my grandpa..Although, it's been a long time since he and I have met up in my dreams...maybe tonight I will pray for a glimpse...or a long forgotten memory to make an appearance in my dreams..I would love to have another moment with him, like the character Rory has with her grandfather, but for now..the dreams will have to suffice.  xo to you Grandpa..love you  ~misty dawn