Glass Half Full Kind of Guy

Tonight while eating supper, Aidan proved to me that he is a "glass half full kind of guy".  He was standing in his chair, twirling around (in slow motion) and he lost his balance.  He tried to catch himself and in doing so, he slammed his hand down into his bowl of chili, slinging chili all over himself and the table.  As he pulls his hand out of the bowl (in slow motion), he raises it up, smile and says, "Ta-da."  As I stood in amazement, Britton died laughing.  It's so good to know that my youngest, my baby is a "glass half full kind of guy"...The best kind of guy to have around!

My Grandpa

My Grandpa's name was Verly McCord Jr.  He was a tall man.  A man who smiled a lot.  I can remember, noticing at a very young age, how when my Grandma walked into the room my Grandpa's voice was always filled with such love when he would greet her.  I remember watching him smile whenever she was around.  My Grandpa was an amazing man.  He would take me fishing, spend time with me...Even coloring a picture was special because he would do it with me...I remember curling up on his lap and looking at a book or just curling up to watch a show on television.  It didn't matter what we did...ever moment was fun because I was with my Grandpa.  He loved me. VERY much..I never doubted this.  I've been told stories of him defending me..looking out for me..but even without these stories, I always KNEW he loved me.  

I recently watched an episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory was bonding with her Grandfather.  I found tears burning my eyes.  Grandpa passed on when I was in the first grade.  I definitely have lived longer without him in my life than with him in.  Occasionally, I look at my boys or hear them say something and I can't help but think that Grandpa would love them and spend time with them like he did with me.  That he would look at them and see parts of me (from when I was younger).  I just know he would tell them stories of when he used to spend time with me.  Britton would have adored my grandpa and the feeling would have been mutual.  

However, this is not the only reason that on this particular day I find myself struggling not to cry.  I want my Grandpa here for very selfish reasons.  For me.  I miss him so much sometimes it hurts to breathe.  I know that he would come visit me no matter where I lived.  He would love me and love Josh and would share stories of my childhood with me.  He would fill a part of me that is forever void..the Grandpa part.  I know God has a purpose for everything...but sometimes I just wish he didn't feel the need to take him so soon.  Before I really had even begun to live.  I used to dream of seeing my grandpa..Although, it's been a long time since he and I have met up in my dreams...maybe tonight I will pray for a glimpse...or a long forgotten memory to make an appearance in my dreams..I would love to have another moment with him, like the character Rory has with her grandfather, but for now..the dreams will have to suffice.  xo to you Grandpa..love you  ~misty dawn

Purple or Pink

Today I was reminded of a book that Britton and I used to LOVE to read together.  My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss...Yesterday, I was at Kohl's trying new shirts and I had to stop a second and look at my cart.  EVERY shirt I had picked out was Purple!  I couldn't remember what the book said Purple represented in way of feelings, but I knew it was mentioned in the book.  After I got home and tried on several of the shirts, realized that I didn't like them so much.  So, after we picked up the kiddos, we went BACK to Kohl's and I exchanged them.  I picked out some replacements and headed home.  This morning, I was putting away my new shirts when I noticed that for some reason, I had exchanged every purple shirt and bought PINK ones!  

I headed downstairs and found the book and saw that according to Dr. Seus, Purple is a day for feeling sad..."I groan, I drag my tail, I walk alone."  The choice of pink was mentioned by Dr. Seuss as well..."When my days are happy pink, it's great to jump and just not think."

This may sound silly to some, but it makes total sense to me.  Yesterday, I spent most of the day alone...I wasn't sad, necessarily, but was feeling a little melancholy.  Then when my boys and husband came home, I found myself giggling, running a race, playing duck duck goose...I was happy...I bought the purple shirts alone, the pink shirts with my family...Which lead me to the conclusion that I am happier (naturally) when my family is with me.  Explains so much, of this past year, to me!  

With all this thinking, I have come to this conclusion.... Dr. Seuss, was a BRILLIANT man!!!!  

He's Growing Up..sniff

On the way to school, Aidan sits in the back, thumb in his mouth, lovey in his hand.  He is usually quiet, except for the occasional question about bubba or daddy.  "we pick bit up soon?" "daddy wohk?" "got my jacket mommy?" Other than that he is fairly quiet...just looks out the window and sucks his thumb while holding the tag to lovey.  I occasionally look in the mirror and marvel on how cute and tiny he looks back there.  Wondering when he will no longer suck his thumb...when he won't care if he has his lovey....when he doesn't need a car seat anymore....I can usually handle the thoughts ok..take them in stride, so to speak...Today was different.  I don't know why, but when I looked back there and thought of how he has already moved out of so many stages of baby-hood (diapers, bottles, crib) I feel my chest tighten.  I can't believe he is growing up so fast.  Too fast...It won't be long and I'll be dropping him off for Kg.  No, that is too much to think about...

When we got to school, I got him out and asked him to "snuggle me up".  He wraps his arms around me and gives me a big squeeze.  I close my eyes and soak up the "scent" of my Aidy...We get to class, he sits in the circle, takes his thumb out and says, "Mommy, put my lovey in my cubby." 6 words that changed everything...put my lovey in my cubby...words that caused me to stammer out, "uh, oh of course baby".  I can't help but wonder why on this day, when I was feeling so melancholy to begin with, did he choose to say those 6 words...but say them  he did and in saying them he showed me that Yes, he is indeed growing up....

Bagas, Benny & Britton

(in the pics: Benny, Brit's picture for Benny, & Bagas)

When Brit was born, Josh and I decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International.  Our goal was to sponsor a child, close to the same age as Britton and then write to the child and when Britton was old enough, he could write to his "brother" and his "brother" would write back, hoping that someday Britton would meet him.  Our "adopted son's" name was Bagas.  We prayed for Bagas, wrote him letters, sent pics of the boys and he would write back and send pics of his family to us.  I truly enjoyed reading about Bagas.  He called me Auntie Misty, and the rest of the family was Uncle Josh and my Brothers, Britton and Aidan...I loved it.  I learned so much about his country and what his days consisted of.  Recently, we received a final letter from Bagas.  A letter that both broke my heart and caused it to soar.  Bagas and his family were doing so well, that they were being released from the Compassion program.  It was our final contact with our son/brother.  Compassion sent us a new friend, and his name is Benny.  And like Bagas, he is from Indonesia.  He is 9 and his days consist of "taking care of children, playing soccer and playing with cars".  There are 4 children in his family.  He is the oldest.  Today, as I was reading about our new "son", I called Britton in and told him about Benny, showed him on a map where Benny lives and told him what Benny likes to do for fun.  Britton's eyes were shining.  He said, "maybe someday I can see Benny.  I will take a soccer ball with us and we can play soccer and play with cars."  I said, "that would be awesome wouldn't it?"  I then asked him if he would like to color a picture for Benny or send him some cool stickers.  He said, "How about I draw him a picture?" I said, "sure."  A bit later, he brought me his art and my heart lurched.  He drew a picture of himself and Benny playing soccer.  When I showed the picture to Josh, he said, which one is Benny...I said, "I'm not sure, they are both happy."  In the picture, though they were wearing different shirts, they were both happy, smiling and playing soccer...Together...No racial differences, no sign that one "has more" than the other..Equals...BROTHERS...Britton took the picture of Benny up to his room and hung it up on his bulletin board, he said he will pray for him...I have no doubt that he will...In Britton's mind, Benny is just another boy in another place, waiting for the day when they can play soccer together...

As I have said before, Britton has taught me so much...in this situation, my mind is overwhelmed...Britton didn't just "love" Benny b/c he felt sorry for him, b/c he is superior...no, he loves him b/c he just does...they are BROTHERS...in soccer, in cars and in Christ...Equals...