Saturday, September 19, 2009

very, very, very, much




I was reminded last night of a quote I heard when I first became a mom...I don't know who said it or even if I will get it completely right, but the gest of it is....becoming a mom, forever having your heart walk around outside your body.  In the last couple of days, I have been reminded of how extremely true this is!  Last night I was watching Armageddon and was mindlessly letting the credits roll at the end.  The song by Aerosmith "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" came on and I was hit with those crazy mom tears again!  After my kids first birthday's, I make a video using pictures of the first year and pick a song that fits how I felt that first year as the background music...Don't Wanna Miss a Thing was the song I chose for Brit's video...It said it all...Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep, cause I'd miss ya baby and I don't wanna miss a thing...Even when I dream of  you, the sweetest dreams will never do, I'd still miss ya baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing..I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss, I just wanna be right here with you right here, just like this...I just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close with mine and we stay here in this moment for all the rest of time....
That first year with Brit as my first baby, went so fast and when I heard that song, I couldn't help but think it said everything I was feeling for my fast growing boy!  Oh, sure, don't get me wrong...the Don't wanna close my eyes (in reality) wasn't EXACTLY true...What new Mom isn't dying to close her eyes?! Right?!  But the feeling of the song...it's happening too fast, you're growing too fast, you're not my "baby" anymore...
Last night, when this song came on, I got up and went in Brit's room.  He was asleep and I just knelt down next to him and looked at him for a few minutes..He has grown soo much...
As tears were rolling down my cheeks, on my knees, I started praying for this child God has placed in my care.  Please Lord, give me wisdom, help me teach him, make him strong, guide him so he never leaves You, Lord.  As I prayed this, in between trying to keep myself somewhat composed, as completely composure was a pipe dream, I was watching him sleep.  I looked at his hands, someday they will be man's hands, looked at his face, someday his wife will look at his face and fall in love with him, looked at his hair and thought...holy cow he needs a hair cut! Somewhere, the prayers stopped being about Brit and became about me..Please Lord, don't let me miss a thing...I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss...Help me treasure EVERY moment with my handsome son.  
I ordered Britton some shoes as well as his daddy some shoes of the internet yesterday.  I had to chuckle when I looked at the complete order invoice they emailed to my inbox...
Men's size 11
Boys size 11

I don't wanna miss a thing!!!!

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