Vines, Grapes, the Twilight Zone & Him

I just finished my latest read, Secrets of the Vine by Bruce Wilkinson.  When I started the book, it was out of a sort of obligation, as it was what came next on my reading list.  As I "trudged" through, I commented to a few people that it was a proverbial thumbs down, but on I read.  Having told my students and now my kids to never abandon a book, because it just might surprise you, I was determined to finish it, within this century.   About 3/4 of the way through, the author started talking about how the vine dresser will prune the vine to produce more fruit.  That, though we may believe letting it grow and grow and grow would produce more, it is indeed the pruning process, the cutting away, that produces more grapes.  Hmmm...
Recently, Josh had an opportunity arise that I just KNEW was the fruition of the promise that God revealed to us two years ago.  In my excitement, I put all my eggs in one basket, to put it nicely.  I spiritually began to build my heart around that promise, spending all my quiet time talking/thinking about the promise and began to abandon the time I had promised to spend abiding in Him..A huge change was a coming, I reasoned, I had MUCH to do.  I began shutting out people in my life, instead of dealing with issues that would arise, I stopped talking to acquaintances that I knew wouldn't continue once the change occurred.  I also stopped working...You see, I am honored to be able to work with Operation Christmas Child.  A ministry that strives to bring a little Christmas in a shoe box to children who are without.  A ministry that I LOVE...a ministry that I enjoy being a part of...because of these big changes, I quit.  Too busy, too much change, I reasoned.  But that is not what He wanted.  He wanted me to keep working..even though there may be big changes...to keep building relationships, to keep working through my past, the issues that haunted me.  Not shut them out.  You see, in the last 5 years, God has done a mighty mighty work in me...(Yes, I do realize how RELIGIOUS that sounds, yet, it is true) This past that blackened parts of my heart, that kept me from him, I have allowed for Him to make new..I have allowed for Him to take away all the UGLY in me and replace it with a compassion, a love and a heart that desperately wants to walk with Him.  Now, don't get me wrong...I still falter...the ugly still rears it's ugly head on occasion, but real progress to make me into His princess has been made. 
So, as I'm reading my book....and I come to the part where he talks about pruning, I am a bit hesitant.  I felt my spirit saying keep going, but part of me wanted to put it down..make any excuse I could come up with to abandon that book.  Yet, I learned long ago, that if there was a force telling me NOT to listen to a certain sermon, or to come up with an excuse to NOT read my bible or latest God inspired book, then that means something BIG is coming...and the enemy is afraid if I continue the change is going to ROCK HIS WORLD...so, I picked up the book and forged ahead...and was not disappointed..(which is USUALLY the case). 
In my excitement...and all of my, well, to put it honestly, OBSESSIVENESS over the "promise", I revealed a desperate need to be pruned.  I can still abide in Him even though changes are coming and not revolve my quiet time around those changes.  I can still work until the day the change occurs and stay determined to work once the change has passed.  I can maintain relationships with acquaintances..which He prefers because how else can I be a witness for Him...and I can continue to work through the hurts and blackened portions of my heart...just because there is a change coming, doesn't mean I stop!  On the contrary..he wants me to cling MORE to him...not say, ok, God..I see that the promise is just around the bend..I got it now...thanks for the help!  On the contrary.  He wants me to stay focused.  Keep working..keep working for OCC, keep working for Him.  On my own, it would be impossible to keep working in OCC, to keep working through the pain of the past, to keep up the acquaintances...but, I'm not ON my own.  I have the one who created the world, ready to hold me, ready to cheer me on, ready to look into my face and tell me how much He loves me.  I have the one who sent His son, ready to give me a heart for people, a heart to love, a heart of compassion, a heart..like His.
In order for Him to get my attention, to show me, how His PROMISE had replaced HIM in my life, he had to remove the promise from my immediate vision.  I don't believe he has taken it away for good...I merely feel that he has blocked it from me for a while.  After the opportunity was gone, I told Josh and several others who listened to me, that it was like we were in the Twilight Zone..it was there and then POOF it was gone.  It's not gone...just blocked..because if I don't keep my eyes on Him, I can't achieve his promise anyway.  It's kind of like when I am explaining to my eldest son what his chores are and he keeps looking over my shoulder at whatever is going on behind me and I touch his cheek and gently say, Brit..focus.  God put himself in front of His promise and said, Misty, focus. 
Now, you may be wondering why in the world I would share this..and I can honestly say, I'm not sure! I just hope that if you're reading this, and if He is asking you to focus on the pruning...focus on Him..while he makes you what HE wants you to be, and all that you can be that you listen...and know that pruning while not exactly FUN (kinda stinks when you realize what a DORK you've been), it can be a sweet sweet moment... a time for you to say Oh Father, I love you....and to FOCUS on His face.