Wow...So, the first part of what Brennan said is ground breaking to me. Thank you LORD for grabbing the scalawags and ragamuffins! And the fact that he puts us up there with the princes & princesses..shew! What a thought...I have always wanted to be a princess. But maybe just to be UP there with one would be awesome enough...For God to love me just a tad as much as a princess is heartwarming for me. Then I kept reading..."Or has the thunder...etc." And it was like with the words penned by Brennan Manning, God was grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and saying..HEY...Did you see that? And I was forced to ask myself AM I so deaf that I forget that God has tender feelings for me? Do I get so caught up in the religious rhetoric that I forget that? So wrapped up in the RIGHT way to act...so caught up in my own STUFF?
I have always thought that I am in grave danger of making God into my very own personal Santa Claus...God I want this, this and oh yeah, THIS...Can you fix this, make this happen, etc. the list goes on & on. Sometimes my prayers are more like an adult Christmas list. But, if I am going to ask these things of God, I have to remember ONE important thing. What do you want ME to do? What can I do for you God?
A few days ago, Josh and I were talking on the phone, I was on my way to get Aidan from school and Josh was at work. We had just placed the For Sale sign in the yard, step ONE of our relocation to where God has called us. I was feeling a bit stressed and bogged down and I told Josh such. I said, "Wouldn't it just be easier NOT to move? I wouldn't have to keep the house clean, family would be happy with us again, and we wouldn't have to change the kids lives." Josh didn't agree with me, but he didn't disagree with me either. The question just kind of hung in the air. I then hung up the phone and reached to turn up the radio. "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson was JUST coming on...he was describing how it's easier to pretend all is right, to leave things the way they are, to turn a blind eye to what you SHOULD do. Hmph..sound familiar? Then, came the chorus...I don't wanna live like I don't care, I don't wanna say another empty prayer, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else, to do what God has called me to do myself...
I had to chuckle and I actually threw one hand up and said, "Alright God, I hear ya." It WOULD be easier...BUT God hasn't called me to do easy...he gave Josh and I three young men to raise..it's our job to show them by example how to OBEY God...even when it's hard...
Tonight I was feeling a wee bit down, as Aidan would say, and I got out my favorite Brennan Manning book. God always seems to show me something I need to hear when I read this book and he did not disappoint. One of the first things I read was the above quote. Ok...God, I get it..It may be scary..leaving a place where I am familiar, where my friends are, where my church is and the place near family...BUT, YOU love me. You are not calling me to do something that is going to be harmful to me, Josh or our boys. You want me to be yours...ALL yours...You have placed me up with the princesses...and you tell me you Love me. That is ALL I need. No need to be scared..I am in your hands..
Wow..
Because I love my God, I want to put aside all rhetoric, even if that means doing something that society has pegged as "crazy" and follow Him...I wonder how many of the Christians I know would actually drop their jobs, their houses, their cars to follow Jesus if he were to show up at their homes/place of employment. Would I? Well, we are about to find out!
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