Mundane, Fundane....Mothering is HARD..

Today, just for kicks, I checked out the standings for the Parent's Magazine Best Blog awards...I had to chuckle when I saw over 250 blogs in my category. (wow)..Anywho, being a blog enthusiast, I perused through a few of the blogs.  While doing so, I noticed something that got me to thinking...MOST of the topics of the blogs nominated are blogs about how to be a GOOD mom.  While there are also several home schooling blogs and blogs on adoption, crafting, cooking...The majority of the blogs are blogs showing you how "Sally" does THIS and you should too!  As I was reading a few of these blogs that promise to make me, not a GOOD but a BETTER Momma, I was reminded of something that I have struggled with as a stay at home momma.  You see, I have always said I am a reluctant stay at home mom.  I am only home because God has told me to be there.  It is not exactly something I long to do.  I have always loved working and have even given it a shot at one time, at which I QUICKLY learned I am not cut out to be both a working momma and a good momma...Many of you mommas out there ARE good working momma's and man do I envy you.  But, I digress.  Being home, a bit reluctantly, I feel like I am constantly pressuring myself to be BETTER!  And seeing how many blogs are out there telling us how to be better confirm my suspicions that I am not alone! 
As I was looking at the blog topics ( trying not to panic)...and perusing a few of the blogs themselves, I couldn't help but think about how stressful parenting is.  And we momma's are so hard on each other AND ourselves.  If you don't nurse you're a bad momma..if you DO nurse you're a bad momma...if you send your kids to public vs private..school vs homeschool...uniforms vs store bought clothes...Target brand vs Wal-Mart.  The judgements and looks of disappointment come at us from EVERY angle...even from our very own mirrors.
When I think of parenting my sons, if I give it too much thought, I will send myself straight into a panic attack.  Am I strict enough, am I too strict? Do I cuddle enough, do I cuddle so much they're gonna be "momma's boys"?  If I pop a frozen pizza in the oven am I feeding them too many preservatives? And by the time the 20 seconds of contemplation are over I have broken out into a sweat and am frantically reaching for my Starbucks to calm me down!  Why, exactly, do we do this to ourselves? Why are we frantically scouring the web looking for a blog to tell us how to be better momma's?  Why can't we all just..well, to risk sounding goofy...WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!  or most importantly why can't we accept that WE are who God entrusted with our children...We are THEIR perfect parent..just the way we are!  Why do we have to judge each other? I've said it before but I firmly believe that we momma's gotta stick together.  It's a harsh world out there...a world that desires to educate our children waaaaaaay sooner than they (or we) are ready for.  We need to join together...form a barrier if you will.  Momma's against THEM...not Momma's against Momma's.
You see, we ALL love our babies..kids...teens...adult offspring.  Instead of torturing each other with these Mommy wars, we should be offering support.  Find a mentor-Momma or better yet, BE a mentor momma!  I am a lucky Momma in that I have a dear friend who has launched 2 children into adult-hood and is always willing to listen to me rant about the latest stain on my carpet...she doesn't *tsk* *tsk* at me and say, "enjoy 'em while they're young" (I do NOT wanna hear that right now!!! I have a huge purple circle in the middle of my living room!!!!!!!).  No, instead, she giggles and says hang in there, here's what I used to get grape juice stains out of tan carpet.  She calls occasionally just to say "hey" and occasionally we meet for coffee (whenever my carpet stains will allow it).  She is my mentor-mom.  She is a MOM who mentors ME...she's been in the trenches..our personalities are similar and she passes no judgment because well, to be frank...we're honest with each other...parenting, particularly MOTHERING is flippin' hard work & she offers me sound, biblical advice...she isn't worried about me warping the children...she remembers all to well what it's like...and she shares those experiences...she doesn't sit on 'em and pray no one knows she struggled. If she DID hide her struggles...they would all be for naught.  Instead, she is using them to HELP me!   
As Momma's, we should be willing to tell our fellow momma's how "Johnny" (or Aidan) wouldn't stop yelling BANANA at the top of his lungs last night in the bathtub and you felt like you were losing your mind! And as the listening momma..we should shake our heads and say oh yeah, that stinks, man I've been there..giggle with the sharing momma then offer to buy her a coffee, or tea, whatever her passion!
Let's remove the stress of "perfect" parenting and just admit we are all doing the best we can and while all the parenting books/blogs tell us to do it this way or that way and we better count the calories or our kids will be fat or they will be warped or ax murderers or WHATEVER, we should just KNOW that our kids will be fine...because we are giving them a solid foundation...we are showing them the Love our Heavenly Father shows us...and we are GOOD Momma's!  And, just possibly, the next time your "Johnny" (or Aidan) screams banana at the top of his lungs in the bathtub...step outta the room, take a deep breath, head back in (like a soldier going into battle) and match his "banana" with a yelled SPLIT of your own & maybe even listen closely.  You may be surprised to hear the joy that Little Johnny (or Aidan) is experiencing during bath time!  Psalms 51:8a "Make me to hear joy and gladness." (even if it is to the detriment of your eardrums!)

Don't forget to giggle during the mundane of Mommy-hood...Genesis 21:6 Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me." 
If I could sit down with you and a cup of coffee...I guarantee we would giggle our way through Mommy-hood...because it's just more FUN that way! 

Precisely 2 minutes before the juice stain appeared

Me (makeup less) and my oldest Britton

My hairstylist, Aidan, (he seems to LOVE giving me gray hairs)..well, being Aidan

Giving his 1 year old brother a ride...DOWN A HILL! (I feel my hair changing color just looking at this)

Digging Deep

I just finished watching a video series that hit me in the gut.  Now as a mom, usually I find that if things aren't pretty or flashing lights, I have a hard time getting interested.  It could have to do with my sleep deprived life of having 3 sons under the age of 7...(well, I'm blaming that anyway!) However, recently I reviewed a video series for the publisher Waterbrook-Multnomah.  The series is called Desiring God by John Piper and is based off of the book that was released several years ago.  In the videos, John Piper further explains how God is most glorified when we are happy in Him.  Hmmmm....interesting concept...Then John Piper explains how today's circumstances and situations in our lives should be experienced with the Glory of God in mind.  Now I'm interested!
Although, the videos did remind me of videos I used to watch in college seminars, *ugh* I couldn't seem to pull myself away from them....I came to the conclusion that John Piper doesn't need bells or whistles..the Word is the meat!  It is what kept me coming back for more.  I found myself longing to just sit and watch all the videos in one sitting...my 1 year old didn't concur.  So, unfortunately, I had to break my viewing up into sessions...bummer.   Now, it wasn't PRETTY...the case didn't chime when I opened it and there was no funny Mom-like figure cracking jokes about diapers and bottles to keep me engaged...but I did find that I learned MORE from these series of videos than just about ANY study I can recall.  Sometimes, I believe we momma's need to get serious about our Faith...and put aside our "fun" "bubble" filled lives and just GET IN the word..and dig deep.  How else can I teach my sons to take their faith seriously, if Momma doesn't...that not ALL spiritual moments are like a day at VBS or Acquire the Fire.
So, if you're a momma and you're looking for a good video to help you dig deep in your quiet time, might I recommend the Desiring God video by John Piper...You will NOT be disappointed!
~in Him...
Misty